Privilege
So here's the deal. I was offered a paying-job to work at a firm this summer and I was also offered an unpaid internship with a federal judge. I took the position with the federal judge. Why did I make this decision? Well, it was based on a number of factors, and tidbits of advice I received, and the thought that I want to put myself in a good position to do a clerkship upon graduation (if it turns out to be an appealing avenue) but I'm still not entirely comfortable with it.
Taking the position with the judge is the morally "right" thing to do in the circles I run in. It's very noble to turn down money in the quest for knowledge and an opportunity to see and do neat things. I have the luxury to do this because I have a very generous family who is willing to support me and who can do so without significant ramifications to their own lifestyle.
I'm incredibly grateful, but I'm also getting sick of living off of the family dime. I turned 26 a week ago today, I'm semi-smart and capable, and yet I'm not supporting myself. I feel guilty about this, and yet I continue to purchase things that I don't need. As I look to the summer and wedding plans, there is a good deal more spending ahead. I look around me and see lots of people living at or above their means, and I'm guilty too. But I'm not particularly motivated to scale back either.
It's all compounded by the sense that my financial future looks ok. I've put away substantial savings (with the help of generous family), and between my law degree and S's medical degree there is the potential for income that will make us very comfortable. Granted, there are a million factors that could change this financial future, and I'm not one to count my chickens before they hatch, and yet...
It's a perfect storm of privilege and it creates a sense of security and allows me the luxury to say, "the money can come later." But I'm uneasy with this. I'm antsy to test out my own "newfound" earning power (ridiculous as it is that one measly year of law school should produce such a jump). I'm eager to start paying back my loans and to get off the family and government dole.
This doesn't mean that I don't want to do interesting things, or that I'm only interested in earning money. I want both, and in typical 2006 fashion, I want them now! The choice for the summer is about privilege, but also about patience. And patience, so it's said, is a virtue. Hmph.
posted by Ms. Runner @ Wednesday, February 08, 2006
4 Comments:
You were right to take the federal judge job. The law firm summer will earn you lots of money and it would probably be really, really fun. But you won't have opportunities like this later on. Internships are basically the only chance a person has in life to "try out" a job. You might find that you love it, and realize you don't want to work in a firm (which you can do next summer, easily). You might find that you don't like it, and then spare yourself the pain of an entire year of clerking (not to mention the ridiculously awful application process for clerkships). I split my 2L summer with a firm and a prestigous federal agency. I gave up some money to do so, although working at the firm meant that I had enough to work for the government and still come out way ahead. It turns out I didn't like working for the government all that much. It was a lot of research and writing, which just aren't the parts of practicing law that really excite me. At the firm there was more strategy and organizational work, which appealed to me. And I liked the people better at the firm, as well as the cushier atmosphere. But anyway, had it not been for the internship, I might have tried applying to the agency post-law school. Instead, I went to the firm and am happy I did.
As for relying on your family for financial support, think about it this way: if this was your daughter, who had the chance to do something she was really excited about, as well as noble, or work at the lowest common denominator job (which a summer internship isn't, but a law firm job generally is), but needed your financial support in order to do the former, what would you want her to do? Part of the reason why families strive to do well for themselves is to give their children more opportunities. As long as those opportunities you're taking aren't wasteful, which this isn't, then I think you're ok.
And remember - you're going to law school. You're marrying a doctor. It's pretty clear that you don't intend to rely on your family's generosity forever.
congrats on a decision well-made. i turned down a cushy post-grad job at a big law firm (in your home state) for a federal clerkship. it was the best thing i’ve ever done. i figured the option to practice at the Law Firm of Big & Stuffy would always exist--before and certainly after the clerkship. but the chance to work for a judge--and a federal judge at that--was (for me) a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You'll have other opportuntities (and more of them) to make money in the future. The clerkship is the way to go.
There might have also been an option to do a split summer (part time or half the summer w/ the firm and the rest w/ the judge). The way you're going is less neurotic and will provide more learning opportunities.
In the end, the summer w/ the judge is the best decision. You'll learn more and do more substantive work.
I wouldn't trade my summer internship in Federal Court for anything it was the best job I have ever had. Enjoy it!
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