Sunday, July 17, 2005

You Gotta Have Faith

In second grade my friend A. and I would re-enact the George Michael music video "Faith." Not having cable in the house, I had never seen the video, but A. did a great job directing our production. A.’s family was Catholic, but I remember her confirmation being a great point of contention between her and her parents. She was confirmed, but when she left for college she left the church as well.

My own experiences with organized religion have been much less decisive. The daughter of a Catholic father and a Jewish (though non-practicing) mother, I attended Unitarian Universalist Sunday school for three years or so. The first year of college I set out to explore a variety of religions and attended Catholic mass with my roommate, and Shabbat and Buddhist meditations with practicing friends. Nothing particularly spoke to me, and I remain ambivalent about organized religion, but it was certainly educational.

What I find most compelling about organized religion is the practice of setting aside time in the week to pause and reflect. If I went to church regularly, I’d want to use that time to think about the humbling force that keeps things in perspective and helps me realize how valuable and how short lived my time on earth is – God? Being humbled goes hand in hand with being thankful and grateful, and I do my best to recognize and give voice to these feelings as much as possible, but it wouldn’t hurt to do it on Sunday mornings too.

What turns me off about organized religion is its exclusivity. The claim to hold the truth is so intricately linked to power – power over the believers, and more importantly the non-believers. My urge for spiritual connection lies in opposition to this impulse. That said, the extreme alternative, utter relativism where there are no truths, is equally unappealing.

As S. and I consider what kind of ceremony we’d like to have for our wedding, I’m confronted by my utter religious ignorance I don’t know the right lingo, “is it sect, practice, branch?”, “minister, priest, reverend?” The two churches in my community that I feel a connection with are the UU church I attended as a child, and the Episcopalian church where I went to nursery school. Our close family friends were members of the congregation and on one afternoon Mrs. F. took me into the quiet sanctuary. The feel of the hand stitched needlepoint kneelers under my fingers and the close quiet of the church were impressed on my mind.

But whether an Episcopalian or UU ceremony will speak to the unique brand of spiritualism S. (who grew up attending a Methodist church) and I have developed each in our own way remains to be seen. I’m looking forward to a lot more exploration and religious education as we dive into what matters to both of us.

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