The Future Looks...Different

S. began his third year rotations last week. Medical school has been intense for the last three years, but this is a whole new level. He leaves before 7 am, someitmes before 6 am, and gets home between 5:30 and 9 pm. Then it's time to hit the books before going to bed and doing it all over again. And this isn't even residency!

I'm starting to realize that the dynamics of our household are probably going to be very different than the household I grew up in. My dad owned his own business and my mom worked part time in a school and then as a consultant. Someone was always there at my games (if not both), we would go to the beach together in the summer, sometimes my dad would come home for lunch, and it was a rare occassion not to eat dinner together (before 9 pm!).

There aren't any doctors in my family, and the one doctor that I knew growing up was the father of a friend, and he was already well-established in a successful practice. I've never seen second-hand the grueling hours it takes to become a practicioner of medicine, so witnessing it first-hand is a learning exprerience.

Fortunately, long-run I know that S. is committed to a good quality of life, and values his personal relationships and family above all else. But I also recognize that he doesn't have much of a choice in anything for the next 6-7 years. Gasp! Thankfully, I am someone who can enjoy time alone, and I've kept up a strong network of friends. But, as a paste together another peanutbutter and jelly sandwhich for his lunch because it seems like one of the few things I can do to make this a little easier for him, I'm beginning to understand why, in the households I know with doctors, the division of household labor seems unequal -- the domestic tasks fall to the non-doctor partner because the doctor simply has no time. It's a new reality.