Monday, February 21, 2005

Silver and Gold

I've managed to keep up with three friends from my childhood; our shared experiences and the association with home has kept us connected as the intensity of each relationship has waxed and waned over the years.

When I left home, it was to attend an all women's college (more on that later I assure you), and the friendships I made there are far more meaningful than my diploma. But, as is the way with ambitious college friends, we've scattered to the winds in search of career, love (being a women's college, romance was a little scarce), adventure and all that post-college life has to offer. My first year in "the real world", my closest friends were living in Burkina Faso, Honduras, the Dominican Republic, Philadelphia, Portland, Berkeley, and Boston. None had land in New York where I was fumbling along.

So I made some new friends - which, by the way, is a completely different experience once you venture outside student orientations, shared dorm rooms, sports teams, and class periods. Unlike in college, everyone has her LIFE already -- things outside of your shared experiences, things that can both enrich the friendship but which can also make it harder to find mutual time to spend together or mutual energy to invest in tending the relationship. In any case, I developed a network of a lot of social buddies, and a few closer buddies.

After moving to a new city this fall, it was both exciting and unsettling to leave the network I'd built and cast the net again. There were a few people who I was acquainted with, and one from second grade who I hadn't seen in years. Last night, I spent time with A. and M., two of the "acquaintances". Because I've been here a mere 6 mos., our friendship still has that new feel to it. Yet last night, I found myself blathering on to them about things that just a day earlier I hadn't felt I could talk to anyone about. It wasn't the wine. It was the way that they listened.

I've never liked the saying "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold", and last night, when these women, these "new friends", shone through in 24 karat brilliance, was a perfect example of why.

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