Date?

After I moved, I got an email from one of my former neighbors. I'd run into him a few times before, but we'd never had much conversation. I was much friendlier with the couple who lived down the hall who were always running over for some borrowed milk or flour, and who never seemed to have their clothes on when I came by for a return egg or stick of butter.

In any case, this neighbor mentioned in his email that he hadn't been sure of how to get a hold of me, since he didn't actually know which apartment was mine. Of course, I knew that he could look down from his apartment directly into mine, which was why I usually shut the shutter on that particular window, but maybe I needn't have worried. Or perhaps it was because of my awareness that he remained in the dark, as it were.

His email was friendly, and in it he invited me to get a cup of coffee. He emphasized that there was "no pressure" to accept.

Now, is this a romantic overture? I sometimes wonder if my sensor for these kinds of things is a little off. Having been somewhat shy in high school, and having then gone to an all women's college, I think I may have missed learning about how to be "just friends" with men. I have developed some male friendships in my post-grad life, through work and such. But I remain skeptical.

In my reply, I didn't want to presume anything. Furthermore, what's wrong with being friendly? I'm trying to do a good job about saying "yes" to things, instead of saying "no" – it usually makes life more fun. So I mentioned that I had just moved in with my boyfriend, but that I'd be happy to meet up sometime.

So now, here we are, with a plan to get a beverage tomorrow after work. The thing is, I'm not looking forward to it much. I'm afraid that it feels sort of pointless. Despite being a shy child, I think I've turned into somewhat of an extrovert, and I like hearing people's stories, but I usually like to have some additional context before I start investing time in hanging out with them. Nonetheless, trying to make conversation for at least an hour without some romantic interest or other motivation to nudge me along seems a bit daunting at the moment.

On the other hand, I met someone who I really enjoy spending time with over the internet just this fall, after only a brief email exchange, so perhaps tomorrow's meeting will pleasantly surprise. The "When Harry Met Sally" question remains: can men and women really just be friends?